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“Speak your mind. Don't let anyone censor you. It's the best advice. Even as a teenager, I always said what I was
thinking. I wasn't afraid of what others think. You have to express yourself no matter what anyone else thinks about it.”
-unknown
if you really knew me, you'd know that what i act like on the outisde (sarcastic, flirty, confident)
is nothing and i mean nothing like i am on the outside.
you'd know that i think i'm a lost cause.
if you really knew me, you would know that i've never been kissed. i feel so out of place, even in the
society i live in were they encourage you to wait until you're sixteen to start dating and kissing. but
all of my friends have boyfriends, and make out all the time. and i'm sitting here. pitying myself.
if you really knew me, you'd know that i would never committ suicide. i would never leave this life in
a way that shows you that you're taking the easy way out. i would never kill the body my saviour gave
to me. i love my heavenly father, and i'm not going to dissappoint him by ever over-dosing, hanging,
drowning etc. myself just because i can't take life. i can't take life- because i'm strong and stubborn.
and if you really knew me, you'd know that i've only date two boys. ever. one for a week, another for
two weeks. and i know i still love the second one. i kills me seeing him, seeing his house on my nightly
jog, and knowing that he'll never love me.
if you really knew me, i'd blame my mother for the physical shape i'm in. when i was 8 (in only SECOND
FREAKING GRADE) i said that dance "wasn't challenging enough for me" so my mom pulled me and put me
in karate. i gained a little kiddie chub, while my sisters were dancing and staying thin and they tried out for
the drill team in high school. i play every sport, and i am average at them all. nothing special for a high school
team. and when i danced when i was little i was good. really good. i believe that dance could of made me
more popular and befriend the other popular girls who danced, it would of kept me in shape, and it would
of made me a lot happier. because i hate everything about myself.
if you knew me, you would know that i read like crazy.
if you knew me, you would know that i get so frustrated when
things don't come to me easily because usually they always do.
if you really knew me, you know that i'd sick of being the
quiet, smart aleck girl who boys think hate her.
if you really knew me, you'd know that i don't trust easily.
if you really knew me, i have no idea what my future holds and what i'm going to end up like.
and it scares me.
