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    Keeping Up with the Malfoys PG13?

    Lucius
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    Post by Lucius Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:46 am


    Keeping Up with the



    Malfoys


    Keeping Up with the Malfoys PG13? 33le5c2



    This is a Writing Collab brought to you by Kathy and Marianne and Addie.

    This story follows the ultracool life of the newlyweds Voldy and Lucius and their squib daughter,
    Addie. This story takes place in the Voldy-Malfoy uber cool Manor house, the Wizarding Mall,
    Diagon Alley, Gringotts, Hogwarts, Maynard Middle School, The Reform School for Squibs,
    and The Adult Wizard Superstore. Enjoy!


    *warnings
    Their may be some language in chapters, but I doubt anything worse than you see on the boards.
    I'll try to keep the sexual innuendos down to a minimum, and we'll post warnings if theirs anything too bad at
    the beginning of chapters. OH, and I also might verbally abuse Addie and throw a golf club at her in a chapter, so if
    your not into that sort of thing..then yeah.

    * creds to SB/Lily/Morgayne


    Last edited by marianne on Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Post by Lucius Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:47 am

    Voldy Malfoy woke up next to her beautiful
    husband, Lucius. Yes, Voldemort is a girl. Not many people know that,
    but we are not gay. We are man and wife, and that is how it shall be
    for the rest of their lives. Voldy looked around and breathed in the
    sea salt. They were on their honeymoon in the Bahamas, where Voldy
    could get a tan. Her skin was much to white. They also picked the
    Bahamas because they heard their was an amazing plastic surgeon who
    specialized in noses. Voldy desperately needed a good one. Last time,
    it all went wrong and they cut it off. Little did you know, this is the
    truth of Lord Voldemorts life.
    Voldy noticed her husband, Lucius wake up. "Morning dear." She smiled.
    Voldy looked around, and to her horror saw something she wished she hadn't. "Why is our squib daughter here?" She asked Lucius.
    "She
    had to come, we couldn't leave her at home where she could wreck the
    place." Lucius explained. Voldy agreed and got up out of her bed. "Wake
    up, Adderine." She said. She gave one giant tap on Addie's shoulder and
    she shot straight up. They each settled down for breakfast, and Addie
    ate under the table.
    "Dumb squib..." Lucius mumbled.

    Lucius Malfoy stuffed hordes of hot egg into
    his hungry mouth. After, last night, alone on the California King Size
    Bed in their ocean front room with his beloved Voldy, he was starving.
    Last night was the first night in their honeymoon house and he was uber
    excited to start on the days activities. Then he remembered, her. He looked under the table, and stared at their child, Addie.
    "Meow." Addie said. She was going through a phase of cats. Lucius shuttered, and went back to eating his eggs.
    "What are we doing today, dear?" Voldy asked Lucius.
    "I
    thought we could go down to the harbor and harass some fish, then maybe
    go look for some hungry sharks," He threw a quick glance down to Addie,
    "then have a seafood lunch, go tanning for five hours, and have
    dinner." Lucius finished.
    "Sounds fun!" Voldy said, throwing in a wink. Lucius got all tingly.
    "Hey,
    Squaddie, go fetch my brush." Addie ran from the room, well, crawled
    from the room, meowing, and off to find his hair brush. She came back
    and handed it to Lucius. Lucius took the brush, disgusted at the girl,
    and swatted her away. "Let me brush my hair and then we can go." Lucius
    said. Voldy nodded and stared admiringly at his long locks.

    Addie waited until her "parents" left to sneak out.
    As soon as she heard the door shut she ran to get changed into her sexy outfit.

    Keeping Up with the Malfoys PG13? BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFkFHbTUzcE5jM3hHMVJiNUZrMmF4NEEAAAACaWQKAWUAAAAEc2l6ZQ
    Oh.. by Addie <3 featuring Converse shoes


    She crept outside and began making her way to the beach where she would meet her rebellious boyfriend,
    the one her "parents" told her not to see.
    As she walked she meowed and said cat facts.
    99.9 percent of all cats have fur.
    Cats meow.
    If a cat and a dog had sex they would make a Marianne.
    Finally, she reached her destenation.

    "Fishing first?" Voldy asked Lucius.
    "Yep. We can go down by the harbor where the waters clear." Lucius replied.
    They
    apparated down to the dock by the Sea. Lucius strutted down the dock
    near the edge. All the tacky tourists stared in awe at Voldy and
    Lucius's sex appeal. But then again, who ever could take their eyes of
    the power couple? Thats right. No one. "Oooh I wanna try catching a
    fishy!" Voldy squeaked. Lucius sighed, wanting more just to harass the
    little dollywangers. Oh well, Lucius handed her a brass fishing rod.
    "Yay!" Voldy got down onto her knees, Ah, Lucius thought, that position
    brings back memories. He quickly snapped out of the memory, which was
    very graphic, and watched her sink the rod into the waters. She waved
    it around and finally got a small tug. Several fish appeared at the
    water but they wouldn't cling on to the bait.
    "Come here fishy
    fishy! Come on! Cling on to the bait!" She chanted. "Ah screw this."
    Voldy pulled out her wand. "Avada Kedavra BITCH." The fish all suddenly
    went limp. "Yay!" Voldy said again, and plucked the fish from the
    water. Lucius cheered. "Oh voldy, this is why I married you. Such
    talent with a wand. Oh- the wooden one that is." Lucius blushed then
    interwined fingers and hands with Voldy, and they skipped off the dock
    to go find some hungry sharks...and Addie. Then, a sudden sight caught
    his eye. A meowing girl in a leather jacket was walking towards the
    beach.
    "That little Squib!" Lucius yelled.
    "Come on, lets go spy on her and embarass her in front of her boy toy!" Voldy said. Lucius agreed, and they skipped off.

    The satisfaction of killing a ton of fish
    shot through Voldy like lightning. But that pride was quickly whiped
    away when she saw her squib daughter having fun. That was the worst
    thing that could possibly happen. They raised her to have no fun at
    all. Voldy knew it was a bad idea to bring Squaddie. She just knew.
    Lucius
    and Voldy walked hand in hand to hide behind a random bush sitting on
    the beach. Voldy smiled at Lucius and pulled out her wand. She did a
    few things and a moment later, Addie's skirt was flying up to reveal
    her rainbow undies. Then the sudden gust of wind pushed Addie towards
    her boy toy, and she fell on him.
    "Oh, Voldy, you have such a way
    with a wand." Lucius smiled and they gazed lovingly into each others
    eyes. they could hear the boy screaming in the background. Operation
    ruin-the-squibs-love-life was a success.




    Last edited by marianne on Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:52 am; edited 1 time in total
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    chronic
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    Post by chronic Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:50 am

    HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH
    can't wait.
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    Morgayne
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    Post by Morgayne Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:03 am

    hahahahah I love this
    favorite parts:
    "And Addie ate under the table."
    "I thought we could go down to the harbor and harass some fish."
    "Let me brush my hair and then we can go."
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    Post by LaurenElizabeth Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:31 am

    hhahahah i LOVE this! so funny!! Very Happy
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    Post by Kathy Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:06 pm

    hahahha, omg, yay Very Happy
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    Post by Lee Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:34 pm

    haha this is actually the greatest thing ever
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    Post by kel$ey Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:38 pm

    Hahhah this is so cute and funny!
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    stephaloo
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    Post by stephaloo Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:37 am

    i fell off my seat after reading thisss
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    Post by chronic Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:43 am

    hahahahahaah you guys are hilariousss (:
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    Post by Kathy Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:04 pm

    Voldy and Lucius waited patiently at their honey moon home. They both sat at the dining room table, Voldy looking in a snake magazine, and Lucius brushed his hair. They were waiting for the squib to return after todays "activities." Voldy looked up from her magazine and caught Lucius staring at her. "I just love the way your eyes brighten when you see a snake." Lucius commented. Voldy smiled and they stared lovingly into each others eyes. After a while there was a loud bam. Someone had walked through the door.
    "Squib!" Lucius called. Addie made her way into the dining room and she crossed her arms.
    "Well?" Addie said.
    "Well what?" Voldy asked, confused.
    "Aren't you gonna apologize?" Addie said.
    "You know, this is just like a squib. First, they like a muggle. Then they try to talk to the muggle. Next they get embarrassed by their sexy parents, and then expect that it was all their parents fault! The nerve! You should be thankful we ruined if you. You should be dating a wizard, if dating at all, which you won't be. Squib." Lucius said, very sternly.
    "I love it when you get mad." Voldy said.
    "I love you." Lucius replied. They both leaned in and shared a tender kiss, which turned into a makeout.
    Addie just stood there, awkwardly. "Ok, i'll just...go."
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    Post by Lee Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:01 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    that was great
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    Post by Kathy Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:22 pm

    shmanks Very Happy
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    Post by Lucius Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:48 pm

    Lucius swatted the girl away and turned to his beloved Voldy.
    "You have the most beautiful eyes, its like gazing into a sea of murky blue lake water, with little purple jellyfish swimming on the borders." A small blush crept upon the defined cheekbones of Voldy. She giggled and they engaged once more in a passionate kiss.
    Suddenly the squib came tripping into the room.
    "What the Fuck dude?" Lucius yelled at the meowing child.
    "Hey sorry I was just wondering if maybe-"
    "Look squiby, you gotta stop talking to us as if your our equal. Please, just get this through your head, we. don't. like you. Your here because your real parents had naughty pictures of Lucius doing exotic dancing down at The Wizarding Willy's Night Club, so we had to take you in or those would be exposed." Voldy said. The squibs face soon flooded with tears.
    "No one loves me!" She screamed and flopped on the floor next to Lucius's kitten heels.
    "Yeah pretty much." He replied, and engaged once more with Voldy.
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    Post by Kathy Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:50 pm

    hahahhaa, the meowing child :p
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:02 am

    Aw poor squib! Lol
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    Post by courtneyluvsya:) Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:27 pm

    poor squib! Sad haha
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:00 pm

    don't feel bad for the squib.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:18 pm

    What are we supposed to feel bad for you?
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:27 pm

    yes, i have to live with her!
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:30 pm

    But who would want to live with you..?
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:31 pm

    marianne.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:32 pm

    she's lying
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:34 pm

    no she's not.
    just wait until she reads this.
    the love of my life will defend me.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:35 pm

    It's because she is under a spell you put on her.
    No one will ever love Voldy.
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:35 pm

    Sad
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:36 pm

    Well no one will publically love you, it's more of an hidden shrine-like thing
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:37 pm

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! Sad
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:45 pm

    Why are you crying? People love you secretly
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:46 pm

    oh.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:47 pm

    Do you get it now?
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:53 pm

    yes.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:56 pm

    Ok, good
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:58 pm

    i like your status.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:01 pm

    Yeah, it has a nice ring to it
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:05 pm

    it does.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:16 pm

    If you like it then you should have put a ring on it
    ohohoh
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    Post by Kathy Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:18 pm

    no.
    i put a ring on marianne, and no one else.
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    Post by Lee Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:40 pm

    I know, I was dedicating the song to you two
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    Post by amber- Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:48 pm

    The Wizarding Willy's Night Club?
    I'm not sure if that was supposed to be perversely (go with it) named or what but...hahahaha. x]
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