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“Sarah, get down here!”
I guess I should have known right then that something was wrong. While the words were a common phrase, the tone my father used was something I’d never heard before. It sounded strangled and anxious.
And as I said before, I should have known right then.
But I didn’t, so I descended the stairs and stopped when I saw my dad’s face stricken with grief as he held our telephone to his ear.
“All right,” He said. “We’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and looked at the ceiling in disbelief. “Fuck,” He cursed quietly.
“Dad,” I said. “What’s wrong?”
“Rob Murphy’s dead.”
There’s a lot of stuff I’ve heard about the death of someone close, but I’d never experienced it. Now though, I guess I can say I have. My knees got weak and I sank onto a step. My throat felt like it was closing up; it was getting harder to breathe.
Rob Murphy, my best friend’s dad. Addie and I had practically grown up together, with swim team and lake trips and all sorts of stuff. Her dad, the craziest man I’d ever met, was dead.
“Your mom’s over there right now, and she said we should come. Grab some shoes and let’s go,” My dad didn’t even look at me as he said this, and instead he slipped on his tennis shoes.
I grabbed my flip-flops, and later, I’d find out that in my haste I grabbed two different colors. But that didn’t really matter at the time.
The car ride was quiet, and the silence consumed me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and I felt sick to my stomach.
Stop the car, I wanted to say. This isn’t happening. Stop the car. I’m going to be sick.
But no words came out, and instead I started shaking so violently my dad reached over and rested his hand on my arm.
I couldn’t even look at him.
We got to the Murphys’ house, and already a small crowd of six or seven stood outside, my mom among them. She smiled at me weakly and told me that Addie and her sister Helen were inside.
I opened the door and was greeted by my friend Maggie, who was dressed in some crazy outfit—later, I’d find out she was on her way to the Lady Gaga concert when she heard the news—and she hugged me tightly.
“Addie’s in the kitchen,” She said against my shoulder.
Tears welled in my eyes and I nodded, smiling a little at the glitter surrounding Maggie’s eyes. “You look cute,” I managed to say. “Love the glitter.”
Maggie choked on her tears. “Thanks,” She sniffled with a forced smile.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Addie and Helen being comforted by their uncle, Rob’s brother, who was an exact copy of their father.
“Hi,” I croaked, my throat already closing up because of the tears.
“Sarah,” She said. Her eyes were ringed with red, but no tears fell. She pulled me into the tightest hug I’d ever seen. “God,” She whispered. “Thank you for coming.”
I was crying so hard, I could barely talk. “Are you kidding me? I couldn’t stay away.”
“I can’t even cry anymore,” Addie said quietly. “It doesn’t feel real.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. It was the only thing I thought to say. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Are you okay?”
“Not really,” She said with a bitter laugh.
“Stupid question,” I mumbled into her hair. I squeezed her tighter and rubbed her back. “I’m here for you, I will be as long as you need me.”
“Thank you,” She whispered.
I felt my shoulder grow warm with wetness, and I realized she was crying. I cried with her; together we mourned for something that shouldn’t have happened, not to Addie, not to her sister Helen, not to their mom Leslie.
For a split second, as Addie cried on my shoulder, I questioned God. If he was there, how could he let this happen? If he was there, he would have stopped the heart attack; he would have let Rob live.
I sighed and looked over Addie’s shoulder at Helen. She was in the arms of Penny, one of Leslie’s close friends who recently lost her own mom.
“Helen,” Penny whispered. “You’re so young, God you’re so young. This shouldn’t have happened to you but it did; it did happen.” Helen sobbed, and Penny continued. “But you see all these people?” She said, and she was crying too. “They’re all here for you. They love you, and they’re here for you; all for you.”
AN: God, I wish this wasn't real.
I guess I should have known right then that something was wrong. While the words were a common phrase, the tone my father used was something I’d never heard before. It sounded strangled and anxious.
And as I said before, I should have known right then.
But I didn’t, so I descended the stairs and stopped when I saw my dad’s face stricken with grief as he held our telephone to his ear.
“All right,” He said. “We’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and looked at the ceiling in disbelief. “Fuck,” He cursed quietly.
“Dad,” I said. “What’s wrong?”
“Rob Murphy’s dead.”
There’s a lot of stuff I’ve heard about the death of someone close, but I’d never experienced it. Now though, I guess I can say I have. My knees got weak and I sank onto a step. My throat felt like it was closing up; it was getting harder to breathe.
Rob Murphy, my best friend’s dad. Addie and I had practically grown up together, with swim team and lake trips and all sorts of stuff. Her dad, the craziest man I’d ever met, was dead.
“Your mom’s over there right now, and she said we should come. Grab some shoes and let’s go,” My dad didn’t even look at me as he said this, and instead he slipped on his tennis shoes.
I grabbed my flip-flops, and later, I’d find out that in my haste I grabbed two different colors. But that didn’t really matter at the time.
The car ride was quiet, and the silence consumed me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and I felt sick to my stomach.
Stop the car, I wanted to say. This isn’t happening. Stop the car. I’m going to be sick.
But no words came out, and instead I started shaking so violently my dad reached over and rested his hand on my arm.
I couldn’t even look at him.
We got to the Murphys’ house, and already a small crowd of six or seven stood outside, my mom among them. She smiled at me weakly and told me that Addie and her sister Helen were inside.
I opened the door and was greeted by my friend Maggie, who was dressed in some crazy outfit—later, I’d find out she was on her way to the Lady Gaga concert when she heard the news—and she hugged me tightly.
“Addie’s in the kitchen,” She said against my shoulder.
Tears welled in my eyes and I nodded, smiling a little at the glitter surrounding Maggie’s eyes. “You look cute,” I managed to say. “Love the glitter.”
Maggie choked on her tears. “Thanks,” She sniffled with a forced smile.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Addie and Helen being comforted by their uncle, Rob’s brother, who was an exact copy of their father.
“Hi,” I croaked, my throat already closing up because of the tears.
“Sarah,” She said. Her eyes were ringed with red, but no tears fell. She pulled me into the tightest hug I’d ever seen. “God,” She whispered. “Thank you for coming.”
I was crying so hard, I could barely talk. “Are you kidding me? I couldn’t stay away.”
“I can’t even cry anymore,” Addie said quietly. “It doesn’t feel real.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. It was the only thing I thought to say. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Are you okay?”
“Not really,” She said with a bitter laugh.
“Stupid question,” I mumbled into her hair. I squeezed her tighter and rubbed her back. “I’m here for you, I will be as long as you need me.”
“Thank you,” She whispered.
I felt my shoulder grow warm with wetness, and I realized she was crying. I cried with her; together we mourned for something that shouldn’t have happened, not to Addie, not to her sister Helen, not to their mom Leslie.
For a split second, as Addie cried on my shoulder, I questioned God. If he was there, how could he let this happen? If he was there, he would have stopped the heart attack; he would have let Rob live.
I sighed and looked over Addie’s shoulder at Helen. She was in the arms of Penny, one of Leslie’s close friends who recently lost her own mom.
“Helen,” Penny whispered. “You’re so young, God you’re so young. This shouldn’t have happened to you but it did; it did happen.” Helen sobbed, and Penny continued. “But you see all these people?” She said, and she was crying too. “They’re all here for you. They love you, and they’re here for you; all for you.”
AN: God, I wish this wasn't real.
