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you disappear.& reappear
When my tears hit the ground, I realized what you have done to me.
You’ve partially killed me inside. One part of my body can no longer see the light it strived for.
I remember when I was little all I thought about was the time when you'd get home, so I'd be able to run to you and hug your legs with my little arms.
I was close-minded and didn't know any better.
Though, I’ve heard that you tried. At the young age I was, you were a monster to me. You scared me and you made me cry.
I defended you and looked up to you as my hero. Though, once I was old enough to realize what your true colors were, I decided you were my villain. Not my hero, like you were meant to be.
I don’t know if I will ever forgive you for what you’ve done to me. Though, I’m thankful you’ve changed though you can never take away the past or the hurt feelings locked inside of me.
Which is why I write.
Writing gives me the chance to take my inner feelings out and write them down on paper. The feeling I get is relieving for me to be able to just pour out all of the hurt bottled inside of me.
I will of course always love you.
Despite it all, you are my father and that’s never going to change. No one will replace you.
One thing I ask from you is that to just be the father figure I always dreamed of. To always be there for me now and protect me when I feel scared.
And to be the one where a boy tries to get me, you’ll be there to watch him. So, he won’t hurt me.
Though, no one is perfect and what I’m asking for will probably always be in my dreams.
I do know that you’ve done so much for us. Getting us out of this gutter we were once drowning in.
Which is one of the reasons I love you.
You’re a very strong man and I look up to you for that.
Nothing can change what you’ve done in the past, though.
Yet, I need to stop living in the past. If only I can find my way back home. If only I could, right?
Well I consider this to be a hello to a new chance to be the father you once was.
For, I’m lucky to have you.
And I’ve seen you at your worst and have yet to see you at your best because you just keep getting better.
I say you’re strong becauseyou’re the only man I have ever known who deals with Diabetes, High Cholesterol, and High Blood-Pressure altogether and is still healthy to date.
I say you're strong because you've been through it all.
I remember when you came home from the doctor’s with Mommy and you told us the news. I watched you and you seemeddepressed.
You seemed sad like when Grand-Daddy passed.
Only if certain things could last...
You kept saying something like, ‘Oh, I knew it.’ Or, ‘It was to happen sometime.’
You always were a touch of pessimistic.
Maybe that was why God made sure you had me.
So maybe I would be the one person in your life that made you, happy.
(Daddy, you’re doing so well. Don’t let these little things get in the way of your life.
It’s called being "positive" and I always tell you that.)
Only, I wish you'd listen to me.
And you agree with me, but….
Remember that, Daddy.
Just always be positive. Through whatever comes your way.
(Like I said…
You’re a strong man, Daddy.
You’re strong and I know where you belong.
You belong forever with us.)
And maybe that's why God listened to me when I cried and screamed while you left with Mommy to the hospital. Maybe that's why you survived that critical time in your life. Maybe that's why you saw me calling you in your dreams.
Maybe that's why you smile at me.
Maybe that's why you ask to hug me.
Because you always knew that you were meant to be here, with me.
You’ve partially killed me inside. One part of my body can no longer see the light it strived for.
I remember when I was little all I thought about was the time when you'd get home, so I'd be able to run to you and hug your legs with my little arms.
I was close-minded and didn't know any better.
Though, I’ve heard that you tried. At the young age I was, you were a monster to me. You scared me and you made me cry.
I defended you and looked up to you as my hero. Though, once I was old enough to realize what your true colors were, I decided you were my villain. Not my hero, like you were meant to be.
I don’t know if I will ever forgive you for what you’ve done to me. Though, I’m thankful you’ve changed though you can never take away the past or the hurt feelings locked inside of me.
Which is why I write.
Writing gives me the chance to take my inner feelings out and write them down on paper. The feeling I get is relieving for me to be able to just pour out all of the hurt bottled inside of me.
I will of course always love you.
Despite it all, you are my father and that’s never going to change. No one will replace you.
One thing I ask from you is that to just be the father figure I always dreamed of. To always be there for me now and protect me when I feel scared.
And to be the one where a boy tries to get me, you’ll be there to watch him. So, he won’t hurt me.
Though, no one is perfect and what I’m asking for will probably always be in my dreams.
I do know that you’ve done so much for us. Getting us out of this gutter we were once drowning in.
Which is one of the reasons I love you.
You’re a very strong man and I look up to you for that.
Nothing can change what you’ve done in the past, though.
Yet, I need to stop living in the past. If only I can find my way back home. If only I could, right?
Well I consider this to be a hello to a new chance to be the father you once was.
For, I’m lucky to have you.
And I’ve seen you at your worst and have yet to see you at your best because you just keep getting better.
I say you’re strong because
I say you're strong because you've been through it all.
I remember when you came home from the doctor’s with Mommy and you told us the news. I watched you and you seemed
You seemed sad like when Grand-Daddy passed.
Only if certain things could last...
You kept saying something like, ‘Oh, I knew it.’ Or, ‘It was to happen sometime.’
You always were a touch of pessimistic.
Maybe that was why God made sure you had me.
So maybe I would be the one person in your life that made you, happy.
(Daddy, you’re doing so well. Don’t let these little things get in the way of your life.
It’s called being "positive" and I always tell you that.)
Only, I wish you'd listen to me.
Remember that, Daddy.
Just always be positive. Through whatever comes your way.
(Like I said…
You’re a strong man, Daddy.
You’re strong and I know where you belong.
You belong forever with us.)
And maybe that's why God listened to me when I cried and screamed while you left with Mommy to the hospital. Maybe that's why you survived that critical time in your life. Maybe that's why you saw me calling you in your dreams.
Maybe that's why you smile at me.
Maybe that's why you ask to hug me.
Because you always knew that you were meant to be here, with me.
Last edited by -;!brightlights on Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:41 am; edited 1 time in total
