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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    tibby
    tibby


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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Empty Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    Post by tibby Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:56 pm

    Gregory Lane.
    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Road10
    chapter one.
    The car pulled up the lane that I knew well. The driveway was about a mile long, lined with maple trees that were starting to turn orange. It looked as if a horsedrawn carriage would pull up alongside us at any moment. It was lost in time, it seemed. Finally, we pulled up in front of the polished stone mansion. The air was crisp and the sky was a pearly white, the calm before the inevitable storm that was approaching. I stepped out of the car and smoothed down my red and blue plaid skirt and my grey v-neck sweater. I walked up the steps that have been worn down by students for the last 200 years. I smiled to Ms. Mason, the school secretary and breezed past her to the dormitory that I had shared with Cynthia for the past 8 years, since we were 7 years old. She was practically my sister now, only spending the summer holiday apart. "Thanks Geoffrey." I hugged my driver, who gave me an affectionate pat on the back. "Be good, Miss Cambria." He held out a gloved hand and I shook it. Geoffrey was like a grandfather to me and was always there when my parents often weren't. He left the room, setting my luggage at the foot of my bed. Shortly after I had unpacked, Cynthia burst through the door, exclaiming my name. She dropped all of her bags and flung her arms around me. "I missed you." I said as I inhaled her familiar Old Spice scent, because she hated women's deodorant, and hugged her back fiercely. She settled into telling me about some raunch story about her mum on the ride over and unpacked everything hastily. If there was one thing you could count on, it was Cynthia always showing up a little late. We didn't really need to "catch up" exactly because we wrote each other all throughout the holiday. The dinner bell sounded and Cynthia let out a low, "Oh bollocks," before dragging a brush through her dark brown waves and pulling on her other black flat. I laughed and she tossed me a wink before joining me outside the door and closing it behind her. "Blimey, will you look at this weather?" She motioned to the windows as we hurried through the corridors to the Dining Hall. "It's bound to get wretched." I agreed and we took a sharp left and went in through the side door, as to not attract as much attention from Headmistress Caulbrooks. We found our seats quickly by Connor, our good friend. There were about 50 kids in each grade and Connor was one of our best friends. We each kissed his cheeks and sat down, hardly acknowledging the boy sitting next to Connor. "Well, you get quite the welcome, my friend." He said and Cynthia and I laughed quietly. "He expects nothing less!" I smied. "I'll drink to that!" Connor raised his glass and downed a sip. "Sorry, mate. Connor missed us a lot and we had to show him that we still love him." Cynthia winked at Connor and bit into her bread. "I didn't miss you that much." Connor defended his "man dignity" Cynthia and I called it. In other words, the thing that kept boys from being too emotional. "That's not what you told me, babe." Cynthia pretended to pout. "I'm Cambria and this is Cynthia." I extended my hand. "Matthew. It's a pleasure." He shook my hand firmly. 'Sure is,' I thought. "What happened to Finn?" Cynthia asked. "Parents transferred him." Connor shrugged and bit into his rib. Cynthia scowled in disgust, seeing as she's been a vegetarian since she was 10 years old. "What possesses you to be a vegetarian at 15," Connor gnawed on the bone, "is absolutely beyond me." Matthew leaned towards me across the table and I inclined my head towards him. "Do they always bicker like this?" He asked. I chuckled. "You get used to it," I promised. He nodded and eyed me, a smile tugging at his lips. "Are you a vegetarian too?" Matthew asked as Cynthia heartily ate her salad. Before I could answer, Connor did for me. "Oh no. This one likes a good steak probably as much as I do." Cynthia laughed and Matthew raised his eyebrows. I blushed, and felt the soft red creep into my cheeks. "This one time, we were out with my family and the waitor from this really nice restaurant made a big mistake." Cynthia giggled. "What'd he do?" Matthew asked, playing along. "He asked Cam if she would fancy steak sauce." Connor chortled. Matthew's green eyes flickered towards me and I shrugged, but smiled. "So Cam goes and asks what's wrong with the meat, and of course he answers nothing, so she nearly bit his head off when she told him that the only time you need sauce is to cover up bad meat." Cynthia finished, giggling. "Oh come off it, I wasn't that harsh." I laughed. Suddenly, the hall fell silent. Instinctively, I looked up to Headmistress Caulbrooks who was addressing the school. Only a few phrases stuck in my mind, like "promising year," and "all a family," and at last, the dismissal. I tossed my honey colored hair over my shoulder as I got up. Matthew and Connor walked us back to our dorm, since their's was only a corridor away. As we reached our door, Cynthia stood up on her tiptoes to kiss both of Connor's cheeks again. "Welcome to our family." I smiled at Matthew and kissed his cheeks also, then moving to Connor. "He is soooo cute!" I breathed as Cynthia shut the door. "Oh honey, I know!" She winked at me and grabbed her shower caddy and left me alone in the room, muttering something about "long trip," and "needing a hot shower." I glanced at my bed and remembered the fudge cookies that my mom had made for me, Cynthia, and the boys. It was one thing that made her seem like a mom. She was always quite fond of Connor, seeing as he stopped by once every holiday, always bringing flowers for my mum and helped my father around the house. I grabbed two of the red drawstring bags and left the room, making my way towards their corridor. I knocked on their door and Connor answered, shirtless and in sweats. He said, "Hey beautiful," while eyeing the cookies. "Hush, you prick." I smiled and strode into the room, tossing Connor and Matthew a bag each. I flipped onto Connor's bed as he explained to Matthew about the seemingly random cookie treat. I heard Connor's audible groan as he bit into the first cookie, obviously satisfied. "I'm so glad to be home." I moaned, fixing the pillow under my head. "I know, you haven't been in my bed in a while!" Connor cackled. "Oh shut up, honestly!" I laughed. "You guys consider this place your home?" Matthew asked curiously. My eyes met his. "It's where my real family is." I said quietly and I thought I saw Connor mouth "family problems." In an effort to change the subject, Connor jumped on me and pretended to "love me" doggy-style. "Oh for God's sakes, bugger off!" I laughed and got up, pushing Connor off. "Well, goodnight." I smiled and left Connor to an empty bed and Matthew watching after me, absentmindly eating one of the cookies I brought him.
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    sb


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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Empty Re: Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    Post by sb Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:27 pm

    Tibby, this is a really great start to a story. I like the story line and the characters and I can't wait for more.

    But I have some advice. Frankly, reading the entire chapter as one paragraph gave me a bit of a headache and took away from the good plot start of the story.

    I suggest starting a new line whenever a new character speaks/has thoughts, because then it isn't so unclear as to who's talking and such.

    Just some advice. LOVE THIS<3
    courtneyluvsya:)
    courtneyluvsya:)


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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Empty Re: Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    Post by courtneyluvsya:) Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:03 am

    i agree Smile love it tho!
    tibby
    tibby


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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Empty Re: Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    Post by tibby Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:09 pm

    thank you for the advice :]
    it did not offend me whatsoever. it actually made me happy that you cared<3
    sof,or something
    sof,or something


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    Gregory Lane. [chapter one] Empty Re: Gregory Lane. [chapter one]

    Post by sof,or something Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:15 pm

    Love it!

    Especially the whole British feel (:

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