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![If you really knew me[update, again] Empty](https://2img.net/i/empty.gif)
If you really knew me, what would you know? God. Even I don't really know myself. Applying to RV, I guess I could say that if you really knew me, you'd know I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. That's why I don't really apply for any cliques or contests or roleplays or anything. Also, I don't apply because I'm afraid I just won't be good enough to make it in. I feel really out of place on RV. Like there is nowhere that I'm welcome. But I also feel like that in real life. If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm depressed. I wanna be happy but sometimes I just feel like there isn't anyone out there who understands me. Except that's not true. The one person who understands me is exactly like me. My friend, Rachel, well, if you really knew me, you'd know that I just wanna save her from being like me. Because I don't really like who I am. If you really knew me, you'd know that I know I'm decent looking, but I find all the flaws. And kind of ignore the good things. And i am a little bitch who asks how I look just so I can get the compliments. If you really knew me, you would for sure know that with people I'm comfortable with I'm really loud and obnoxious. But with people I don't know I'm just shy and try to please them. If you really knew me, you'd know I'm pushing away one of my best friends because I hate her boyfriend and I'm mad she doesn't share things with me. If you really knew me, you'd know I am in love with my best friend. But I try and stop myself because he has a girlfriend and doesn't like me like that. You would know that I hate the phrase "Things will get better soon" because they really haven't yet. And i've been waiting for like 3 years. You would also know that, though it seems I open up a lot. I choose what I wanna say and what I think people will make fun of me for and I should keep to myself. If you really knew me, you would know that I like what is bad for me. Getting my feelings hurt/hurting myself is just what happens to me. And it really gets to me but I don't really do anything to stop it. Also, you would know that I am every personality trait. I am everything in one. This could make me bipolar or whatever, but it's just who I am. Um, I guess that's all I can think of for now.
ONTO THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF MY LIFE.
Hmm. I am the most caring person in the world, I would take a bullet for any of my friends. Maybe even a few strangers. I love my friends because whenever I'm down they either ask me what's wrong or make me smile. If you really knew me, you would know that even though i hate practice for basketball and soccer, I LOVEEEEE PLAYING IN THE GAMES! You'd also know that even though my siblings can be total jerks I love how they will just watch tv with me or go to taco bell with me. What else? Oh yeah! Even though sometimes my friends make fun of me, I know that they will be there for me in the end. Even if you hate me, to me it's better than you not even caring about me at all. A hug means everything to me. If you just talk to me once, I'll still consider you one of my best friends. My mom would do anything for me, and that makes me feel special. ho-hummmm. My future means everything to me, even though i'll probably change what i wanna do with my life by the time i am ready to graduate. Even though I think I'm fat, and even though im really not, food is my addiction. My favorite color is pink, always has been, always will be. If I ever started wearing really ugly clothes, i would allow my friends to put me on "How Do I Look?" That's about it for now.
UPDATE. [i'm gonna alternate between bad and good statements. to balance it outt:)]
I feel sad when i see my best friend updates her profile picture. it always gets a million "you're so pretty" comments. and when i change my profile picture. nothing. i don't think im like fugly or anything. just like....its hard to have a gorgeous best friend who everyone worships, and then im just me. i love when someone tries to make plans with me, but i cant that time. so then they keep asking different stuff until it works:) makes me feel loved. if you really knew me, you'd know that i feel like im annoying and needy because i keep texting my best friend who just got back from camp but shes like busy so she cant talk to me. but i keep texting her anyway cuz i really wanna talk but i think im just coming off clingy and annoying. IYRKM, you'd know that i feel blessed to have two siblings, even though then i have to share my money and food with them:)
ONTO THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF MY LIFE.
Hmm. I am the most caring person in the world, I would take a bullet for any of my friends. Maybe even a few strangers. I love my friends because whenever I'm down they either ask me what's wrong or make me smile. If you really knew me, you would know that even though i hate practice for basketball and soccer, I LOVEEEEE PLAYING IN THE GAMES! You'd also know that even though my siblings can be total jerks I love how they will just watch tv with me or go to taco bell with me. What else? Oh yeah! Even though sometimes my friends make fun of me, I know that they will be there for me in the end. Even if you hate me, to me it's better than you not even caring about me at all. A hug means everything to me. If you just talk to me once, I'll still consider you one of my best friends. My mom would do anything for me, and that makes me feel special. ho-hummmm. My future means everything to me, even though i'll probably change what i wanna do with my life by the time i am ready to graduate. Even though I think I'm fat, and even though im really not, food is my addiction. My favorite color is pink, always has been, always will be. If I ever started wearing really ugly clothes, i would allow my friends to put me on "How Do I Look?" That's about it for now.
UPDATE. [i'm gonna alternate between bad and good statements. to balance it outt:)]
I feel sad when i see my best friend updates her profile picture. it always gets a million "you're so pretty" comments. and when i change my profile picture. nothing. i don't think im like fugly or anything. just like....its hard to have a gorgeous best friend who everyone worships, and then im just me. i love when someone tries to make plans with me, but i cant that time. so then they keep asking different stuff until it works:) makes me feel loved. if you really knew me, you'd know that i feel like im annoying and needy because i keep texting my best friend who just got back from camp but shes like busy so she cant talk to me. but i keep texting her anyway cuz i really wanna talk but i think im just coming off clingy and annoying. IYRKM, you'd know that i feel blessed to have two siblings, even though then i have to share my money and food with them:)
Last edited by shaynabobaynaa on Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:17 am; edited 2 times in total
